the AUDREY factor

RESURRECTION.

2009-08-15T10:21:00.002+08:00

HELLO EVERYBODYYYYYY

haha i miss this place! to be honest, i've still been blogging but at my own little secret LJ which is friends-locked. but it's mostly filled with emo shit and all my personal/private problems. and i miss posting mindlessly about what happened in the previous day, so that's why I'M BACKKKKK. :)

yay yesterday was relatively awesome because i went for sze's choir foa thing, which is called Vox Masala II. and i know why! as in, why it's called Vox Masala II. haha. Vox is some language for voice and Masala is a blend of spices. as for the II, okay maybe there was a Vox Masala ONE or something. haha anyway, point is, it was really freaking great! i've never quite enjoyed myself so much at a choir concert before. LOLLIPOP. yayyyy, my favourite song of that night. and sze wing looked sooooooo cuteeeee. haha you were AWESOME, SZE. haha okay i don't think you read this blog anymore.

well, and then i got a lift from natw's mom and she said that I LOOKED LIKE I LOST WEIGHT. like yessssssssssss. she said my face looks slimmer and my legs looks thinner! okay, i don't really see that myself but she hasn't seen me for a very long time so she's a better judge righttttt. omg yayyyy. so happy. i will keep up with my gymming! :D

hurms, okay, then that's all of the awesome aspects of yesterday. only two. oh, nice, it balances out. cos there were two sucky parts to yesterday too.

first: i lost my class rep badge on thursday when i was gymming! as in i took it off and left it on the bench and i forgot to take it back and it was gone. boo. ): so i got it replaced yesterday when i met mdm tham. and shitdamn, i was so stupid, i went into the hod room without thinking through my attire and how many rules i was breaking! thus, i immediately got owned. she made me remove my earrings, she made me remove my necklace (which i ttly didn't want to!!!), she made me lengthen my skirt AND SHE ACCUSED ME OF PUTTING SOMETHING ON MY FACE. said my complexion looks suspicious. like what the hell is that supposed to mean?! what, so i can't have good complexion?? but that's ridiculous cos my face is horrendous now! it's in damn bad condition lah. so i have no freaking clue what she was talking about. after owning me, she went on to ask who my form teacher is cos she's going to talk to him about my "conduct and sense of responsibility. if i find out you're just wearing that badge without fulfilling your duties, i will suggest to him that you step down." omggggg. i was so taken aback and sad and confused all at the same time. ):

second: I MET ANOTHER PERV ON THE BUS. and this time, i got relatively freaked out as compared to the other times. okay, so i was like on the bus standing up when something like hit my butt. so i turned around by reflex to see what it was. there was like absolutely nothing but this middle-aged indian guy sitting down, with his elbow protruding out and looking at me. so i was like eeeee, and i turned back. didn't want to look at him at all. AND THEN IT HAPPENED AGAIN. i felt something hit my butt again and i turned around a second time and i saw him in the act of holding his elbow back. i can't be like a hundred percent sure he was the one but at that point of time, it really looked like it. plus, i really was standing quite far away from him so it couldn't be accidental. plus, TWO TIMES? nuh-uh. i turned around so i faced him instead of my butt but he kept on looking up at me! so like i moved behind him and he still tried to look out for me. after each stop, he'll like turn his head and watch me. omg it was so disgusting. i just kept praying that he'll get off before i do. when it was finally my stop, i moved to the exit area, but like subtly looking out for him and this time, praying that he doesn't get off. but then he did the whole looking for me thing and when he saw that i wasn't behind him but at the exit area, HE STARTED TO STAND UP omg omg omg omg. by this time, i was like freaked out TO THE MAX. all i was thinking about is how the moment i alight the bus, i'm going to walk damn fast all the way back to my lift. my heart was hammering in my chest and i was like omg this can't be happening to meeeee. i don't even care if i'm thinking too much. i rather i think too much and nothing happen than think too little and everything happened. ew. yeah i eventually ran into the lift with this decent-looking couple.

poo. gross right. ): hahaha but like it's over. so i'm going to not think about it.

today's saturday and i have no plans to go out. which means staying at home and doing homework. if i can make myself get down to it, i really should:

-finish carving
-do more prep
-pw wr

i have a very strong feeling that i'll end up doing nothing even though that's not supposed to happen. oh well. i'm not known for my strong sense of self-discipline right. teehee.

okay, i'm off now. ta!

twitter-like updates for my blog:

2009-07-06T16:19:00.003+08:00

(promise i will have a proper update soon!!)

oh myyyyy acjc collegiate tees are so addictive. i keep wearing them. the love i have for my school is tremendous.

going to get coloured contacts at cheap cheap price soon! BROWN EYES HERE I COME.

finished up blinging lian kim's corset. i think it looks freaking gorgeous now.

my camwhore shots are awesome.

secret LJs are <3.

knock you down(:

2009-06-16T11:16:00.002+08:00

yes, yes we are. we are awesome. (:

-
hahaha i can't think of anything substantial to blog about. because my holidays have been like really fun so far. and you can't convert all those fun into words. so you can look at the above pictures and have fun laughing at my retardedness. okay, OUR retardedness. (:

grounded for the rest of this week but i had a good Monday. so. (:

audrey is happy happy happy.
(getting a new room look~)

boycrazyyyyy.

2009-06-14T22:32:00.001+08:00

OMG OMG OMG MY CUTE GUY OMG OMG OMG.

i think i'm going die from heart racing into overdriveeeeee.

2009-06-07T22:33:00.001+08:00

EVERYBODY SHOULD GO AND WATCH THE HANNAH MONTANA MOVIE. NOT FOR HANNAH MONTANA/MILEY STEWART. BUT FOR THE OMGSOEFFINGCUTE GUY.

HE
IS
SO
CUTEEEEEEE.

i swear, i'm going to watch it another time.
WHO WANTS TO WATCH IT WITH MEEEEEE.

don't know what you're missing (:

2009-06-01T22:59:00.001+08:00

The Empress Calpurnia Soong IV and Her Officials at The Youth Empire cordially invite you to

VAUNT IV
7th June 2009
Doors Open 9pm
St James Powerhouse, Gallery and Bar None

One of the longest running youth fashion events, The Youth Empire's VAUNT has consistently provided audiences with glimpses into the unpredictability of fashion: chameleon and yet, always explosive. be prepared as we are all flung back into the 1980's and into the infamous factory of Andy Warhol

this year marks The Youth Empire's final VAUNT production. once again, their diamond-studded creativity will not disappoint. Combining high fashion New York style glamour with the three colours of the German flag (black. red. gold.) for the fashion designs, this may quite possibly The Youth Empire's best show ever. joining forces with The German Embassy, ModelLink, Goethe Institut and The German European School Singapore, the team of brilliant teenagers have been working hard to push the limits of the fashion stratosphere, picking brilliant designers to put together dapper outfits, and beautiful faces to model the clothes

dress code: pop art or industrial wear. Our Fashion Police is on the prowl that night and if you're dressed to the theme, we'll bring you in via the VIP express queue

VAUNT IV: The Arrival of The Kings will be held on 7th June at St James
Power Station, 8pm till late.
Tickets are priced at SGD22.00

i would go if i could but i can't, so :(.

1aa1<3

2009-05-30T21:38:00.002+08:00

theasthai:

top girls:

abel su's farewell/random shots:

iskandar the poser:

omg my poor jacket.

starstruck.

2009-05-26T21:23:00.002+08:00

i have been living on coffee. but the funny thing is that i've been sleeping earlier. yes, 1am is considered "earlier" to me, live with it.

i need a new blogskin, like seriously. i'm quite bored of the bird spouting out random teardrops and "i believe in tact". huh. well, i still do, but seems like guys around here (okay, just a select few) don't seem to believe in it so why bother putting it in large exaggerated font across the front of my blog? all it does is to mock me now. so CHANGE it.

maybe sometime in the june hols la. it'll be simple. but nice. :)

ANYWAYYY,

i went for yoga today. (whoo~~~)

omggg i got so lost at turf city!!! i took a cab twice and paid around ten bucks in total. well, at least i got to that yoga place in time. ohhhhh but omg, it was quite like intense. i'm not kidding when i said that sweat was dripping off my face. it wasn't even like temperature-hot or anything. i was just... sweating. haha. it was a good workout though. i'm so proud of myself for exercising so much. okay, BY AUDREY'S STANDARDS. i think i've sweated more this month than the past year. ew sweat. but i guess it's all worth it. feels good. :)

i will stick to yoga and running on the treadmill for quite a while. then i'm going to move on and look for something else to entertain me with. like maybe take up dancing lessons: HIPHOPPPP. haha then i can dance with avril. or learn the dance moves to all my coolzzz dance songs.

now that i'm actually exercising, i just have to work on watching what i eat. i'm still eating wayyyy too much. i should start doing what james does: bring food from home. okay, thou shalt bringeth honey stars tomorrow. :)

tomorrow:

LIANA<3

EoM

thursday:

AVRIL<3

Top Girls (ying, pei, isk, yvonneee)

abel su's farewell gift.

friday:

OMG A DAY AWAY FROM JUNE HOLSSSS

oh but abel su's last day. ):

hmmmm should i gym tomorrow? OH. I LOST MY GYM TOWEL. ): AND MY SOVA BOOK. ): x1938575839.

to be with youuuu.

2009-05-24T23:01:00.002+08:00

anyway, guys! meet The Circle Of Care And Share!

wtf, abraham says (11:00 PM):

we are gay

oops, bala says (11:00 PM):

extremely.

rawr, avril says (11:00 PM):

hahahaha shit this is AWESOME

omg, audrey says (11:00 PM):

hahahaha. I STARTED IT.

ahhhhh look at our msn nicks!!! hahahah i loves it! it's so cool. :D:D

everybody loves my msn nick. cos i'm awesome like that. the best thing? i haven't changed it since forever ago. :)

you love you some.

2009-05-20T23:29:00.005+08:00

i have realised,

that more often than not,

i tell people what they want to hear

i make time for people

in hope that they return the favour.

i need to

step outside of this bubble,

stop living in denial,

cease running away.

whatever i want, life always goes the other way.

took me long enough.

sighzzzzz.

it's been a long week.

(frolick&ISCREAM amidst chinese tutorials/gp articles/gp aq/math test)

but i've been sleeping earlier.

which means more time to think (before i sleep) = not good!

buttttt

june holidays approaching fast and furious. loves, omg.

i need lots and lots of paper for all my to-do lists and calendars.

one day, i will set up a paper-making factory.

and it will be opposite Granger's and Montag's mirror factory.

okay, daydreaming ends here.

actual dreaming to start soon.

goodnight, people. audrey still loves you.

(4T REUNION PLS, you guys are my drugggg.)

hahaha, enter enter enter.(:

i am so tired of:

2009-05-16T14:52:00.003+08:00

being misunderstood

treasuring a friendship more than the other party

trusting people in vain

people being so damn blunt and straightforward dammit

not being in mgs anymore.

life sucks. i don't want to go back to school.

for what, anyway.

people are nasty.

and i have nobody to blame but myself.

dark mocha frappucino. <3

2009-05-08T01:11:00.002+08:00

i really think it's the caffeine that's keeping me awake right now. i actually have nothing else to do but to wait for my GPP. waiting for it to be sent to me for any touch-up. i could use this time to do my huge pile of overdue homework, but noooooo, i'm slacking right now.

rawr. it's so difficult to do the right thing sometimes. what if you like doing the wrong things? what if you like living in denial? what if you don't know what to do? ):

anyway! i met liana and sann and av for dinner today. basically we just sat down at holland v's starbucks and talked. omg, i love all these talking sessions because we do nothing but talk. and we all know how much i love to talk. it's really such a lovely time. i wish it'll never end.

LIANA, get a LJ! secret LJs are the new things and to read all our secret posts, you much have a LJ first. haha it's how we communicate. :)

!SOCIAL CALENDAR!

{friday}

bum around from 230 to 430

meet av at 430 cos her school ends at that time

cf @ 5

{saturday}

frisbee @ acsi (ugh, acsi)

i will find a random corner and do all my overdue non-art homework.

time with uncle?

{sunday}

mother's dayyyyy. oh shoots, what am i getting for my mom!

church with av.

lunch @ subway.

PAINT OVERDUE PREP WORK.

{monday}

emilyyyy and jacqqqq, if all goes well.

<3>

{tuesday}

rugby finals? if yes, I WOULDN'T MISS IT FOR THE WORLDDDD.

still can't believe i missed out in the acjc-acsi rugby match.

CK SCORED THE FIRST GOAL. omg i'm so so so proud of himmmm.

oh no it's not. rugby finals = 22 may.

hm, no plans then. sch ends at 210. aweshumz.

BUT, econs essay test. OMG MUG.

{wednesday}

nothingggggg. yet.

{thursday}

ditto.

econs case study test. OMG MUG.

{friday}

CF @ 5.

dental app @ 8. finally.

now you know when to book me. :)

exclusive.

2009-05-05T23:13:00.001+08:00

somebody's broken heart,
buried six feet under.
and all her other parts,
to vultures when in hunger.

because only we get it.

but here you are again.

2009-05-03T17:10:00.003+08:00

i think the barrier did some "serious" damage to me. or maybe it's just the long weekend where i really didn't get any homework done at all. (DEATH BY ART- this is like my new favourite phrase to quote whenever i don't get any art done but it's due.)

for one, i keep wanting to go shopping. and like actually buy stuff. weird right. i have all these random pieces of clothings floating around in my head and i really want to buy them. for example, i want these. partly cos i feel like changing the style of how i dress. my dress phase is still ongoing, surprisingly. today i went to far east with av and bought accessories on impulse. i don't regret the purchases but i feel guilty. not like i actually have lots of money. brokeeeeee. i want to go back to The Box, they have amazing tops. :D i also want perfume. i don't know why, just all of a sudden. hahaha strange. really.

fb states that natw cut her hair short. and suddenly i feel like hacking my hair all off. just doing something for a change and like shocking the hell out of everyone. but i really really like my hair right now and it takes such a long time for it to grow backkkkk. hair extensions? nah, they're not the real thing. :/

plus, i love Lady Gaga now. she's like amazing. loves her songs. my current playlist (which i listen from youtube. loser right.)

. Everything

(by Michael Buble)

. My Life Would Suck Without You

(by Kelly Clarkson)

. Right Round

(by Flo Rida ft Keyshia)

. Cookie Jar

(by Gym Class Heroes)

. Don't Leave Me

(by Pink)

. Shattered Glass

(by Britney Spears)

. If You Seek Amy

(by Britney Spears)

. Eh Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)

(by Lady Gaga)

. Money Honey

(by Lady Gaga)

. Just Dance

(by Lady Gaga)

. Pokerface

(by Lady Gaga)

i probably should just buy her album. save me the trouble.

my music taste isn't the best, but i like listening to them songs. :D

rawr, not going to school tomorrow = SO GOING TO CATCH UP ON HOMEWORK.

carpark barrier.

2009-05-02T10:06:00.002+08:00

when the aboveshown object slammed down on my head, i thought the sky was crashing down on me.

although i'm glad to be alive, my head now hurts like a bitch.

total FML moment.

(think it's going to be a while before i ever step into acsi ever again.)

can't keep my hands out the cookie jar.

2009-04-24T20:47:00.002+08:00

tsk, a certain woman keeps asking me to update but she doesn't even update her own LJ as often anymore. >:( update update!

i don't know what to say! okay, let's start randomly. it's what i do best anyway.

my tests so far are like quite okay.

GP - 47.5/50 hahahahahahahha beat that, kenneth.

Math - 17/25 i was extremely extremely bummed out about this one until i learned that the highest in our class was 19. plusplusplus i didn't study for it. so going to mug for the next one.

Chinese - not out yet but i'm second in class, so shouldn't be that bad right.

haha yay! i love how i'm like a total nerd here. it feels nice to actually do above average for once. going to mug my june hols away and do vvv well for my terms. OGL, here i come! i so want to be one, it's not even funny. okay, it's quite funny la.

social life = very exciting. hahaha not only mine but others~~~ so many "complicated" relationships that seem to overlap in one way or another.

i miss today! it was nice. we surprised laura and even though it isn't as grand as how AD3 do their birthdays, it was homey. laura was happy, i could tell. but like being who she is, she basically continued with her cold front. her pancake cake. loves it. the aunty should just put it on the menu. i love how we're so ingenius. and then sewing like crazy in the library. lian kim's IS skirt. but i couldn't finish it in time!! ): oh wells. then walk around art gallery with kenneth-- ee scary. back to hang out with fel but she went off first. kenneth's mom came then i sat outside the school for half an hour before my own parents came.

uncle has another race tomorrow- pray for him, guys!

okay, i don't know what to say anymore. waiting for people to come online!!! rawr.

contentment much.

2009-04-18T16:01:00.003+08:00

Okay, so i haven't blogged in a really long time either, but that's only cos i felt discouraged about nobody tagging. because i assumed that nobody tagging = nobody reading. but i've been assured by a certain someone that she still does reads my blog, just that she doesn't tag. i'm sure she knows who she is, so hello darling! loves you. :D

wells, my life has been one big pool of UGH after theatre week because i'm still lagging behind and struggling to catch up on homework. i really have to finish up everything soon or the excuse of theatre week will just die off. and you know how such stuff accumulate like crazy, so i better stem the flow before it gets worse.

so far, the one that's really killing me is art. I AM SO BEHIND. omg. but everybody has been amazingly nice about it. minh came over after i got scolded by the Glove and was all "we can do this!". i was so grateful for his encouragement that i seriously felt like just hugging him. but i can't cos, you know, he's a guy. so i just smiled at him in this tired but super grateful way. and then there's kelly too. i used to think she's like this distant mg art girl whom i'll never really talk to. but then she's so nice cos she told me that she thinks i'm better than her in art. i don't know if she really means it, but it's not very true to me and i was so freaking touched that i just hugged her and went "omg, you're so nice, kelly. you're the nicest person ever." i might have told her i loved her too. i'm not sure. haha then my AA1 artfriends: ruiyang, laura and isk. they're the best.

claire's backkkkkk. omg so happy. it feels like she never left. the same way how i can visit mg after a long period of, say, three months, and feel like i've never left the moment i step into the concourse. the sense of familiarity is so overwhelming, it's amazing. you just know you're home and you'll be safe there.

okay, my train of thought is totally thrown off by the korean version of Chris Brown's Forever. it's called Insomnia by a Wheesung. hahaha.

right, so anyway, yesterday, we hung out!! jacq and i walked over to ib after school to meet sze, natw and liana. then claire came! so we walked all around ib trying to find some other mg sbc girls. we managed to uncover nic, char and la. awesome, righttttt. okay, picture speaks a thousand words.

ahhhh i miss everybody already. haha i'm wearing the pretty pink hairband that claire got for me. <3

loves you, claireeeee. haha and you too, liana.

and then we went of to the daily scoop for icecream. avril arrived cos school ended at 430 for her. from there, we took a cab to wisma. what i did next is a secret. :D tell you guys on monday.

anyway, pictures from theatre week. it's not alot, but still. :)

and then last sunday, we celebrated claire's birthday!

okay, that's about it. i hope this is long enough for people to tag. AHEMAHEM. haha.

another chapter closed.

2009-04-12T01:01:00.003+08:00

NOBODY TAGS ME ANYMORE. WIN.

i think if i ever want to be in cast, it'll be when i'm j3. that'll be damn funny, i think, cos everybody else will be so pro and bored with being a cast member while i'll be there, hopping around being excited like the j1s cos i'd be performing onstage for the first time ever! haha retardedddd. BUT even then, in the words of Mich Wong Jr, "i'll always be No. 1 Costumer and No. 2 Cast."

just read sze's blog:

"night. take care and in the words of one of my bffssssssssssss love you miss you will always be there to hug you!!!!!!!!!!!"

awwww, i just got quoted. yes, i said that and yes, i am one of her bffs!! like how she's mine too. aweshumz.

so my entire theatre week has came and went. i was happy and sad, hot and cold (haha nah not really, just felt like saying that). lots of fun at theatre week and it certainly contributed to being one of the best experiences in acjc so far. not sure if it made it to the list of the top ten experiences in my Life because i would think that all those experiences would have taken place in mg. sigh, loves mg. <3<3

i love hugs!! they're like the nicest things on earth. but it'll be strange going around hugging people. like i'm not seen as that type. jumana can. jumana can go around hugging people and it's fine because that's who she is. like we all love her for it. but nobody really sees me like that. in any case, i still like to hug and be hugged.

next time you see me, hug me. :D

ambivalent.

2009-04-06T22:36:00.002+08:00

rawr, theatre week. wellz, in all honesty, it's tiring. but if i look past all the endless sewing, perpetual designing and constantly-updated to-do lists, it's actually quite fun. and like in a very strange and peculiar way, we bond through all the scoldings and weird stuff that we do. like febreezing each other more than the clothes. or dancing so openly because there isn't anybody else but costumers around.

sighs, at times i really want to quit costuming cos it eats up so much of my time. but like i think of all these awesome costumers and i feel so reluctant to never hang out with them ever again! arghhh. emotional moment much. (and isk goes "you're on your own" hahahahahaha.)

wellz, talking to people online now. haha it's like my only thread to any form of socialising, seriously.

and like, there was actually so much more that i wanted to blog about. but like, now i'm just completely thrown off my train of thought/distracted by msn. so, i'm just going to msn all the way :D

xoxo.

image heavyyyy.

2009-03-29T20:11:00.003+08:00

sigh, i am procrastinating again. because i am so supposed to be doing my art now. okay, but i'm not going to text anyone or call anyone or skype anyone or msn anyone and i sleep at an average time of 1230, so i think i can do this. please please, God, help me.

so. just random pictures from earliest to latest.

I AM SO DARK EW.

isk, joan, me, yinghui, yvonne-- 1AA1 people who turned up for the Methodist Walk. loves my class. :)

pretty star lights. this was during sbc party and we played around with the various functions of nat's dslr.

costumeeeeeee.

bandage2.

i don't care what the guys say/think, i miss my hair. :(

bbq@jo's house, except i only went for 20 minutes of wii-watching. hahahaha tsktsk bala.

cuz i like my ponytail in here. haha.

sanch's birthday. haha this feels so long ago.

og dinner @ fish&co, the glass house. ahhhh we MUST have another one of these!!

---
so, that's like my life in a few flashes of pictures. there's still so much more that isn't reflected in the above pictures, but in general, life's good. the only thing that makes me feel like dying is art, but i'm sure "it'll all get better in time". haha loves that song.

ups and downs and what-to-dos. phonecalls late at night/skyping sessions/multiple msn conversations- my life only begins after nine. haha so i have no life today because i need to do art. stayed back in church today to do lit. i seriously need to have better discipline. oops, gp articles!! sighz, i promise i will catch up.

but! costume! i was so bent on quitting costume on saturday afternoon. then something changed and i want to stay. but, it really depends on how much time it has to take up. because art > costume and i cannot let my art suffer. i like being part of a big family though; the big black drama family. haha. i got the Black Collegiate shirt!! it's so cool, i can't stand it. feels exclusive. awesome.

look at the time! 837. and i'm still not starting on my art. alright, art calls. as reluctant as i am, i must must must leave. till the next time.

---
you make it easier when life gets hard.
:)

:)

2009-03-25T22:07:00.003+08:00

i loves this shot. i loves you too, szeeee.

thereeee, all better.

cos this is real,

2009-03-22T00:36:00.003+08:00

HAHA, HI FRIENDS. it has taken thou a longeth time to update. i don't know why i'm speaking like that but i think it's quite fun. haha.

i've been having fun with my webcam!! i video-call avril quite a bit and we end up taking like retarded shots. hahaha let me show you!

HAHAHAHA AVRIL'S FACE IN THE LAST SCREENSHOT IS EPIC. i think she will hate me. but whatever. as you can very clearly see, she was laughing at me in the msn convo at that time. so. NYEH NYEH.

sigh, i realise i have nothing substantial to blog about. is my life really that boring/frivolous? haha i don't have cool stuff like dance or canoeing to blog about. because there's nothing cool about costuming. OH except maybe the fact that i managed to make my own hairband!!! i'm wearing it to school on monday so i can show it off to everybody/ when people ask me where i got it from cos it's so pretty, i can answer I MADE IT! whoooo.

haha okayyyyyyy. (i love doing this cos it's so purposefully annoying, don't you think so?) the whole dragging last alphabet thingggggggggggg. so eyesore, like seriouslyyyy. haha! okay i shoud probably stop.

i'm going to sleep now. maybe a better update tomorrow lah. my new life = turning my old world inside out and upside down. that's 7 parts good and 3 parts bad. i hope it'll improve.

---

Built To Last by Melee

heartwrenchingly sweet.

pop goes the weasel.

2009-03-15T19:24:00.003+08:00

bandage 2. taken with my pretty handphone with lousy camera. shit, it's damn huge. i don't know what size to resize it to cos i don't want it to get all weird and gross.

i hope the others upload bandage pictures asap! i'm like on fb 24/7 just to wait for the pictures. i'm feeling a bit better from yesterday thanks to church. i went to subway for lunch with av, and the original plan was to do our homework, actually. then shaun called and i pretended to be avril and he didn't even realise. hahahahaha that was hilarious. then someone else called and we went over to gelare where everybody else was. plan = watch movie = i don't mind. but i'm like broke. so i had to borrow money from bala.

we watched Race To Witch Mountain which was awesome because Annasophia was in it. oh right, speaking of which, i'm going to imdb the guy. hold on. i find him like really really familiar! AHHH YEAH, SEEEEEE. i know why he's so familiar!!! he acted in The Seeker too. and i watched the ending of that show on tv.

(omg, GETTING ON MY NERVES. ARGH.)

okay, lost my blogging bugs. seeyou.

you keep forgetting who i am; a girl.

2009-03-14T23:16:00.002+08:00

i don't know about you, but i always thought that i was a very dependable person. a person that someone/anyone/even everyone can go to if they need a good listening ear, a person to bare their soul to, a hole in the ground to whisper a secret too. but recently, i'm just really tired of having to convince people that they can trust me, tired of not being trusted. and at times like these, i miss mg lots.

mg made life seem so much easier. if this is what a comfort zone does to you, then wow, let it be. i want to stay in a comfort zone forever. to heck with how unhealthy that is. when i try to change myself for the better, i get told off for listening to others and to stop changing because i should just 'be yourself'. when i try to be myself, i get told off for being too bimbo/bitchy/girly/useless. i have learnt to see myself in a different light and i'm not sure i'm happy with what i'm seeing. because that's really not me. and i don't know how to show you the real me. because i'm not in mg and my mg girls are not with me. i'm only really me when i'm with them.

i don't know if i'm being paranoid about my parents suddenly reinforcing this superstrict curfew on me. i don't understand the basis of it. maybe it's because i compare my curfew situation to people with no curfews at all and i just don't understand. i'm just really sick and tired of always having to leave early. i want to stay and be part of the company.

why can't my parents trust me enough. i don't care if this is the wrong mindset but who the hell would want to kidnap me or rape me or rob me? and if they think i have a boyfriend, WELL I DON'T. i'm not that stupid to paste a post it right there for every one to see. (haha yes, thanks avril for doodling on it "MY FIRST DATE".) you think it's that easy to get a boyfriend ah. like seriously! boys. i've had enough of them. they're so horrible. i want to go back to mgs! i repeat, i am not attached. i don't have a boyfriend. right now, that's the last thing i want to have. i'd rather have third degree burn scars than have a boyfriend.

i'm so annoyed and tired and sad and worn out. maybe in comparison to the troubles that other people have, this is nothing. but it's something that has been bothering me and this is like the last straw. I HAVE PLANS IN THE MARCH HOLIDAYS. PLANS TO GO OUT AND ACTUALLY SOCIALISE/HAVE FUN. WHY CAN'T I DO THAT WITHOUT SOMEONE PERPETUALLY BREATHING DOWN MY NECK.
i know studies are important! i know i need to do well! i want to do well! but is it so bad for me to have a personal opinion that friendships are more important FRIGGIN GRADES?! sick and tired of parents placing all these adult concerns on me, a TEENAGER. LET ME LIVE MY LIFE. I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO MUG TEN YEARS AWAY AND LOOK BACK AND SEE THAT I HAVE GAINED NOTHING BUT EDUCATIONAL CERTIFICATES.

whatever, i can't deal with all these shit anymore. i'm going back to where it really matters. i'm going to pray and have my QT. i still can go on and on but nobody gives a hoot about how affected i am anyway. my brother's probably going to read this and tell it to my parents. so sickening. i wish he was mature enough to know when to do the right thing and stop being such an annoying asshole. contrary to what people tell me, i do wish he'd just hurry up and go into this emo teenager phase. that way, he leaves me alone and i leave him alone.

goodnight folks. it's been a long day.

--
"and when you hold my hand, you hold my heart."
go, finding michelle. even though your lead singer's hair sucks and should shut up/stop defending himself, you guys were great.

only two types of guys out there.

2009-03-07T23:29:00.003+08:00

me = don't see the point of having a blog anymore

= sad that nobody tagged!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELVIN

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SANCIA

yay, talk about birthday galore. :) i wasn't able to do anything for melv and joy which was sadddd. i can't even do anything next year cos i won't get to see them. hm maybe they'll be coming for for their a's results. ooh.

sancia's party was really enjoyable! i went to felice's house to bake her cookies first, with bryant, ck, jingen and weixin. then we found out that abel and weixin couldn't make it to the party and ernest decides not to come along either.

(haha, i'm very confused. but this is regarding something else. so let's get back.)

we arrived at the party pretty late but only her st nicks friends were there, so the guys hung out with the darts while fel & i hung out with melo, charmaine and xishi. if that's how their names are spelled. haha. hanlin couldn't come in the end. haha melv was like "pang seh la!" haha. then i played darts too. it's quite addictive, actually. you just feel like throwing the dart time after time. rawr.

okay, i'm quite sleepy now, so i will summarise the rest. we cut the birthday cake, sang the birthday song, shared racist jokes, took pictures and then i gave a ride to jingen/ck/melv. now my brother thinks i have cool friends. hahaha yay! i have cool friends. loveys my og.

i must plan something for march hols. i will make it on a weekend and force melv to drive. it'll be uber cool! then he can give me a ride back home too, since i (okay, not me, my dad) gave him a ride home. i hope the church retreat thing will be announced tomorrow so i know when to arrange the og outing.

hmm okay, think i'm going to sleep now. church tomorrow!