i think i get very bothered by different people.
not different as in oh, so many people. different, as in i am unique and proud of it.

maybe because i secretly want to be like that, but will never be brave enough to step out and be seen by so many eyes and judged by so many beings. or maybe because i simply cannot stand how they should feel like they live within a storybook life, but it's okay because that is who they are. maybe i don't know them well enough but if that's who they really are, then i really wouldn't want to be your friend.

no, i'm not talking about who you most probably think i'm talking about. so stop guessing. he or she, or both, is no longer in contact with me.

i'm just going to be really mean here because i haven't been mean in a long time. or you can call it stress because tomorrow's physics paper 1 (!!!). whatever it is, i think the following is going to be harsh.

yeah, so for different people. whether they like it or not, whether they know it or not, whether they want it or not, they shamelessly attract attention. (ATTENTION SEEKER!) and i know it probably feels great to be their friend because they make you feel special. "wow, i'm so grateful they're willing to let me be their friend!", "aw, they're so nice to me.", "omg, they're so FUN." but when all is stripped away and if you look closely, you can see who's taking the centrestage. (oops, sorry, hsm3 rocks.)

i used to watch a lot of korean dramas which my mom watched, and read alot of books of various genres (okay, the bulk being fantasy and chick lit). and as much as they entertained me, they all revolved around a single being. ONE person. an entire book devoted to that one living thing. so what about her mother who appeared only once, but gave birth to her? what about her best friend whom she claims she cannot live without, but only had fourteen lines? or that nerd she talked so much about because she went clubbing at night? so all these people are not worth reading a storybook about?

i don't know where i'm going with this, but i think i'm sick of being a side role in a storybook. this person i'm talking about? i'm not in her storybook. used to be, but not anymore. nah, i'm in another person's storybook now. you just know you're not starring in your own storybook when you have a life so boring and mundane. nothing ever happens in my life, so i know i'm not the main character and this isn't my storybook. it's somebody else's, and i have a good guess who that is.

so, you can go live your life to the fullest and have all the fun you want.
you can be heartbroken and write about it.
(yeah, it suddenly seems like they're almost all the same)
i'm sorry nobody will remember me with time to come.

---
awesome, so my brother got his PSP.
and my whole family was so awed by it:
brother- i have 8GB! and 16 games!
father- wah, can even watch videos.
mother- and put pictures, you know!

i was so bored today i curled my own lashes.

i had two rounds of subway today.

physics mcq
(27/37)
(26/38)
(32/40)

my new taiwanese drama series

and now.

sigh. i will continue with more physics mcq later and then sleep early and pray.