ended a phone conversation with nat and it made me feel slightly better that i'm not the only one freaking over the chinese o's. i mean, fine, she's still better prepared than me, but it made me realise that everybody's insecure about the second major exam we're ever going to sit for in our entire lives.

today, my brother's friends came over and i was so annoyed. i couldn't watch the tv programmes OR use the computer because they were hogging both ends. i could only grab my pink cushion huffily and flop down on my sister's BLUE bed. laid there and wondered how i was going to react when i got back my chinese o's. was about to fall asleep when nat called. good thing i was holding on to it, or i would have another missed call. talked a little and then she hung up. smsed nicole about the time we had to reach school tomorrow and then walked around. i returned to my own comfortable bed when my brother and his friends left the house. fell asleep. awoke to the extremely noisy crowd beside my bed, where the computer was, and realised to my growing horror that they probably have finished laughing about my sleeping pose.

then i grabbed my cushion and left my room huffily. again. god! something came over me and i went over to my mom's room as she was cooking and curled my eyelashes. then i played with mascara. didn't know my mother had so many. so i chose two different ones and experimented. one was nicer than the other. and then i removed it before my mom found out.

have mixed feelings about japan.
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Also I wouldn't be homesick at all because I'd be surrounded by lots of the things I like, which are machines and computers and outer space. And I would be able to look out of a little window in the spacecraft and know that there was no one else near me for thousands and thousands of miles which is what I sometimes pretend at night in the summer when I go and lie on the lawn and look up at the sky and I put my hands round the sides of my face so that i can't see the fence and the chimney and the washing line and I can pretend I'm in space.