i'm not going to BPP to study anymore. i'm going to come back home and type notes. for this week. and then the next week, it's back to BPP to cram since the week after that would be eoys already.

today, i bought 9 C-shaped files for different subjects.
amath, emath, physics, biology, chemistry, english, chinese, social studies, geography.

i'm running out of time without even trying.

and i'm really scared. because this is the first time i've put so much effort into the eoys. i don't want to see everything crash. it's scary. i've thrown my expectations into the air and for now, i don't know if it's going to drop down like a flower pot, or stay up there like a kite.

and if it stays as a kite, do you think it will become a balloon? and float higher and higher and higher...

no.
fear of heights.

psh. thinking about the eoys makes my heart race faster. which means i really care. dammit.

okay. i'm in too deep and i can't get out. so i'm going to make the best of it.
instead of trying to jump out, i'm going to dig dig dig. and maybe, just maybe, i can see light.

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i can't stop crying,
and so in my own tears i'm going to drown.