i think a blog is so difficult to maintain. sometimes i want to blog about certain things which i can't, because of obvious reasons. and when i think about a private blog, it doesn't work out either because i want people to read my blog. i think i'm an attention-seeker in a warped way.

i find it funny that jacq thinks i'm too nice. some other people have told me so. but i still find it funny. because sometimes i'm mean too; except that when i lay down in bed at night and think about the day's events, i feel bad about being mean. and then i become nice. it's part of my unhealthy system because in a way, i'm a backstabber. two-faced human being. double-edged sword.

it helps, though. i'm just careful who i backstab and how i backstab. everybody's bound to have backstabbed before, maybe i just do it slightly better? because i used to do it all the time. you don't know to who, and i don't want to tell you.

actually, i don't know why i'm writing down all this, exposing my M.O, but i am. maybe people's going to look at me from a different angle, perspective and light. maybe you start treating me more carefully and detachedly. but in any case, it's your choice. i just want to tell you that if you think Audrey Tan's forever nice and smiley, i'm not.

although i like to be nice,

i like to be emo too. in a nice and poetic way? yes, in my mind and dreams. no, in your eyes and theirs. but i'm not emo now. just empty. and maybe wary of the world?

i think that's what too much laughter does to your body. inertia says that you get thrown forward when the bus is braking because your body refuses to change (or summat). it has to balance. so now, my body's trying to regain equilibrium. too much laughter, now you feel all the sick negative emotions. for now, it's restlessness.

i peeled my blister and now it's itchy. i wonder if it'll hurt bad when water comes in contact with it. i don't know what to do now, because homework's reserved for later at night. something just hit me and i realise i'm a very very bad and selfish girl.

Eclipse is wanted. and i'm giving it out sometime soon. my sister's rereading it and i want to reread it again before i lend it out. julia and liana? Twilight and New Moon back, please. thanks, with love.

so,
Claire Chong,
Avril Lee,
Nat Chin (?),
Cheryl,

and if anybody else wants it, tag. it's wonderful, Eclipse really is. surprised the whole world, i'll bet. Stephenie Meyer went on Good Morning America and they were debating whether this Twilight series is the next Harry Potter or not.

in my opinion, i think it's far better than Harry Potter. in terms of storyplot and characters. and writing too. but both are equally controversial, i suppose. controversy is good publicity, though. i hope the world appreciates it, but it they don't, they're missing out. in any case, i just hope that nobody outright disses Twilight and claims that "it suxxxxx" or anything. because it's evil. why spoil it for Twilight lovers?

criticism is good, however. i read a quote before. constructive (and hopefully, tactful) criticism.

imma go watch tudou and see if it cooperates enough to finish loading. then maybe i'll bathe.

-
"Did you seriously just stamp your foot? I thought girls only did that on TV."
— Jacob Black (Eclipse)