i am going for the Japan (LA) sabbaticals.

yes, you saw it right. no, it's not because my mom's forcing me, but because i want to go. i've decided that it's fun, it's lit and i'm going to enjoy myself. i'm quite sick of forever being alone, or rather, forever being scared of being alone. i'm going there, even if it means enjoying everything by myself.

of course, i'll still hope that some people will change their minds last minute. even if there's going to be many mainstream, hasn't it occurred to you that Miss J. Tan is a SBC teacher? she probably wouldn't know half the mainstream people, so i insist that she's still giving priority to SBC students.

even if she isn't, i'm going to self-delude myself.

i think i'm acting on an impulse, but i don't care. i know that this is going to be fun and i'm not going to let a bunch of anime lovers stop me from having it. the moment she told us that such a sabbatical existed, i had decided that i'm going there.

the only thing that was stopping be previously was the lack of friends. but i honestly don't care anymore. maybe i still do, but i'm trying not to. maybe i'll cry everynight, thinking about how much more fun it'll be with everybody else, but i'll wake up in the morning with a smile on my face and preptalk myself. i'm going to have to overcome this. and maybe i'll benefit from this? maybe it'll really be fun. maybe it's really worth it.

okay, so i've said my worth. i don't know if that succeeded in changing your mind, but if it didn't, well, at least i tried.

i'm going to go do my speech and chinese now. wait. i shall do chinese first. i'm still waiting for avril to come online. the speech should be relatively short anyway.

talking to emily on msn now.<3