there is so much DRAMA in the blogosphere now and i think i shall stay out of it. people just care so much about what others think.

then i always remind myself about what mrs ng said before, "if they are not important to you, then i just don't care." or something along the lines of that. haha.

well, i've written quite some philo and i'm waiting for jingning to come online and check through the 2 points i have. i think i can only contribute about three to four pages? bah.

oh wells, i shall now do a quiz, taken off shuhui's blog.
[ ] You like to eat chicken feet.
[ ] You sing karaoke.
[x] You've worn glasses ever since you were in fifth grade.
[ ] You'll haggle over something that is not negotiable.
[ ] You are a math genius.
Total: 1

[x] You sometimes take showers at night.
[x] You avoid the non-free snacks in hotel rooms.
[ ] You say "aiyah" and "wah" frequently.
[x] You save grocery bags.
[x] You twirl your pen around your
fingers.
Total: 4

[x] You have been taught that wasting food is a sin.
[ ] Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.
[ ] You beat eggs with chopsticks.
[ ] You like congee with thousand-year-old eggs.
[x] You have eaten moon cakes before.
Total: 2

[ ] If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask you if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
[x] You email/msn your Chinese friends, even though you're only 10 feet apart.
[x] You can read traditional chinese
[x] Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin before they are thrown away.
[x] You know what pearl milk teas are.
Total: 4

[ ] You bring fruit with you as a gift when you visit people's homes.
[ ] You have acquired a taste for bitter melon.
[ ] You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table.
[x] Your parents argue with other adults over the dinner bill.
[ ] You love to use coupons.
Total: 1


Now add the numbers up and multiply it by 4.
I'm 48% Chinese.

that's the same score as Shuhui. hahah, this is quite an interesting quiz.

--

bah, when is jingning coming online? i think she doesn't like me depending so much on her for philo, but what can i do? i just wish that i can get this over and done with. but since i still have a considerably large amount of time, i shall do the 25 people thingy.

Think of 25 people, and leave them a message. Don't specify which message is directed to who- just keep it anonymous, but do say the things you've always wanted to say to them; but have not been able to- or may never be able to- say.

1) you have no idea how much i used to dislike and like you both at the same time. why are you always better than me in every single thing that i do? prettier, smarter, sportier. but it doesn't matter anymore. maybe because i just want you back?

2) i used to dislike you ALOT too. in fact, if you knew, you'd be surprised. i used to wonder how come you actually have people who are willing to be friends with you. it stumped me like anything. but then, one day, i too saw your beauty and my so-called hatred just fell apart. you really have to step out from the shadows and recognise your own gift. don't be so... alone anymore.

3) hey, i still hate you, no matter what. you're the one person that i cannot self-delude myself to like. maybe at time, you make me forget that i actually hate you. but then, when you start at it again, you become the ugliest thing i've ever seen. no offence.

4) thanks so much for being so damned biased. my feelings towards you are so mixed up. sometimes i want you to like me, but sometimes i hate you with all my being. maybe it's just me. but then again, maybe it's YOU.

5) i've given up on you, almost completely. still, i look back and i think about you quite oftenly. i'm just glad that you've moved on without me, so i can wake up and start moving on too. nevertheless, you're a great friend. and i hope you are living a better life, so my efforts on giving up on you wouldn't be in vain.

6) i want our friendship to be forever. i hope we can last through all the barriers and in the end, look back and say, "we've come so far."

7) oh, right. yes, you. thanks so much for being there when i needed someone. you're the unexpected friend that i never thought i would have. i'm sorry to hear about your dad. i really hope that he's well. stay strong!

8) i am so sorry that i didn't visit you after all these years. i actually don't even know whether you're still alive or not. sometimes, i dream about you and i wake up with immense guilt in my heart, a lump in my throat and threatening tears stinging my eyes. i want to call you and ask about you, know how well you're faring in life so far, but then i don't dare to pick up the phone. i'm afraid that you'd scold me. which is stupid, really, because i know you've always had this soft spot for me. i'm really really sorry, and i sincerely wish that you're living happily ever after.

9) you're that one person who truly knows how i feel, and for that, i am grateful. i'm disappointed in myself for once thinking about how clingy you are. you're really such a wonderful person, and i should more than happy to have such a friend like you.

10) thank you for cherishing me more than i cherish you.

11) and how can i forget about you? i don't know if you know about us forever laughing at you. but please know that, sometimes i do think about what a nice person you are underneath it all.

-

oh my goodness, i never knew that such an activity can be so tough. ohwells, i'm just going to stop at 11 first, and maybe finish up the other 14 in another day. i hope it isn't that obvious which message is for whom! the first few are quite angsty, and then i thought of my other not-friends. you know, ah nevermind. just know that not all are for my mg friends, although most of them are.

i think i shall go and take a small break now. and hopefully, i can finish philo by today. i really hope for this to end, even if it means jingning never ever wanting to be my partner again. (i don't mind if you think that way.)

lovelo.