is that title too long? i hope not. but still, it pretty much sums up why i'm blogging now-- to push my paranoia away from my mind.
i'm rushing my geog workbook now and it's so frustrating how many questions i don't know how to do. it makes me feel stupid. but it's okay, i'm going to school to ask someone to coach me. i don't mind feeling stupid if someone is able to feel smart from it. :D
gah, i think i shall just not do geog anymore. i've been rushing it since the Beginning of Time. i also know there's so many more homework, but i shall complete them over the weekends. since i'm most probably going to enjoy the last of my kdrama tomorrow. library then kdrama. whee.
then i'm going out with jacq& maybe jiani + yiling for their new year shopping. yay, finally going out! :D
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yes, museum of twits. it's like this blog, flaming all ahlians and people who tyype liike disshh derx lorrxx. actually, i can't do it very well yet. MaYbE tHeY jUsT aLtErNaTe ThE cApS? still, there's the skill la. which only ahlians are able to master. and the bloggers of MOT, that is. there are three of them-- Camry, Pring and Happy Vagina Valley (HVV for short). i think they're SO hilarious.
yes, recommended that you should go and read when up for some big guffaws. i laughed till my stomach ached. hahaha.
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there was this talk on Governance of Singapore today, from 4 to 5.30PM. me and jacq and cheryl went to eat prata for lunch and made it back for the talk on time. we rock.
i guess the talk was quite interesting, except that mg girls should open their silver mouth more! all the aci(barker) boys talking only. gah, i can't stand their voices. i don't have a grudge against the boys, just their voices. i just find it weird that such a young thing can have such a deep voice. it's just WRONG. like smelling chocolate, only to taste lemon that kinda thing?
wells, i think i can only get used to such voices when my very own brother breaks his voice too. bah, if things get worse, i think i'm going to have to wear ear plugs all the time. you have NO idea how noisy my brother can get.
there wasn't any reception!!! how can it be?! but ah wells, i had a nice and filling lunch. yummy prata! haha.
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&& i just saw the Vodcast on 100.3FM's interview with xiaxue. she thinks that the main problem with singapore's bloggers are that they aren't brave enough to blog what they think.
now, i'm not going to deny the fact that i gossip and badmouth people, but really, don't you think that everybody blogs whatever they think, there'd be chaos? everybody would be sueing each other, best friends would turn into enemies and it'll be like Fahrenheit 451-- you don't know who to trust because that very person who complimented on your dress, may very well be flaming your bad fashion sense on her blog!
you get what i mean? i think about a lot of people, but usually not people very close to me. for people close to me, i just enjoy their presence. nothing for me to analyse. actually, there probably would be SOMETHING, i just don't bother to. why spoil it?
and yes, anyway, i'm not brave enough to offend someone on my blog. it's not about morals or whathaveyous. it's just that, can you imagine if i talk about something bad about a CLASSMATE and she comes up to me the next day to clarify things? i can't take it, i really can't. i would apologize profusely and then promise to take that post off. my courage's probably as big as the biggest eyedirt you can find in my small small eye.
some people can, some people just can't. no matter how much they WANT to. not that i want to, of course. i treat people the way i want them to treat me. so honestly, i don't find it very pleasant to see someone dishing the dirt on me like i shoved them down a toiletbowl full of urine. actually, that was actually why i quitted cheerleading. because there were anonymouses on my first blog, if you can remember. the anonymouses were actually girls on the squad! i can't stand it. i didn't even dare to do a single thing, lest they comment about it. i felt like i was being watched and i was always so uptight. i gave an excuse that i couldn't cope with two CCAs, but nah. what else am i supposed to say? someone insulted me so i quit?
i don't know what i did to make them dislike me so much, and i'd probably never find out. in case they're reading this now, thanks but no thanks, i wouldn't want to know anyway. really. i think i'd just stay out of your way.
i told my mom about all these and even though she was appalled and sympathetic, she disagreed my quitting. she said that there would be more of these cases in the future, when i work in an even more competitive environment. my response then was that i'd rather face that problem in the future than NOW. but looking back, and then looking forward again, i actually see the same coward. i wonder if there's any occupation which wouldn't encounter such situations.
bottomline: i think i'm unpleased with my own character. the sad thing? i can't do anything about it.
