omg.

i know it's the eoys. and i also know that i should be studying. and i am worried as to why i am still not revising. im starting to feel the urgency. but the mood's not there.

and i also know that i may very well just DIE of boredom. really, why are you even here to see me rant on? go on to your books.

(sorry. im just feeling crappy and snappy because i just went on one of my rounds with blogs and found out that they are either on a hiatus, or are just not blogging. which are actually the same. )

it just makes me feel worse that at this very moment when im blogging away, someone else is studying and revising for the eoys.

sigh.

blogging is NOT a burden.

i still remember a few months ago, i saw this tv show. they were debating about the responsibility of blogging.

yes. blogging IS a responsibility. but NOT a burden. to me, that is.

blogging is almost PART of me. i feel uncomfortable not blogging for a long period. and yet, now im feeling uncomfortable that im blogging, all thanks to the eoys.

im just not a study person. i dont even know what i want to be when i grow up. sure, i want to earn lots and lots of money. but think about it. all those occupations that has high salaries are just not me.

doctors? lawyers? and so on.

i cannot be tied down to too much responsibilities. i dont know. i'll feel so stressed and pressurized, i'll feel that im not enjoying life.

im the kind of girl, who just wants to be happy forever. i dont have to be rich. average is okay for me.

school, is happy for me because i see all my friends. although the exams part makes me UNhappy. because, as you can see, i cannot study for nuts. no self-discipline. that's audrey for you.

i can't seem to get high marks either. and im only getting high marks because of my mom. and maybe also because i want to see myself being successful. it sort of saddens me to know that after secondary school, there'll be jc and then uni.

i can't wait for education to stop. but yet, i dont want to work too. mrs ng got me all frightened about how the working world sucks. honestly? i was kinda looking forward to it, before she dropped the bomb of reality on me.

someone like me, just cannot survive in this world. why am i even born? im so in the wrong generation.

you know, there's this dj internship kinda thing going on nowadays? there's no age limit and we just have to send in a something-like-resume. im not sure about that. but i do know that i can try being a dj.

but alas, again, that dreaded bomb of reality is released. who am i kidding? it's less than three weeks to eoys.

(and my mind strays to those weeks AFTER the eoys. oh, what fun and happiness there will be. i can just feel it.)

it's not the time to be having fun dj-ing away. having fun during the eoys period almost seems like a crime.

and im that criminal, who's having a life-sentence. surprise surprise.

...

omg. im in that rut cara USED to be in. im feeling down. like, so down, you can't see the end of it.

a bottomless pit, that's what im in.

going lower and lower, never ever seeing the end of it.

wow.

what a happy thought eh?

[/edit] and a few seconds after this post was published, eeleng came up to me to inform me that she's not going on a hiatus and is updating quite oftenly.

audrey cheers up almost immediately.

life is good.