happy birthday, my dear dear Singapore!

today's Singapore 41st birthday and my my, it's still considered kinda young for a country/island. haha. it's so cute, that the older Singapore gets, the more advanced it is. if you think about it. usually old people arent that advanced unless they want to be and they learn how to be.

right.

so i was depressed yesterday and my tags were totally uncalled for. i mean, reading back, it's so embarrassing. whoever would tag like that? even if i was emo. no excuse there, audrey.

so yeah. im always all smiles and half-cup-full-ish. so this time, i can get through. im sure i can. optimism isnt hard. and audrey's still audrey.

i'll mourn for my pink phone, sure. but life still has to go on.

(and i think my parents may buy me another pink phone.)

they kinda pitied me la. cos i cooped myself up in my room the whole time after--

okay. i think i shall tell you what really happened.

i reached home and then dug out the warranty card. i brought that and my phone to my mum. told her that my bottle leaked and water got into my phone and now i cant turn it on, BUT there's this warranty card so we can go get it fixed.

my mum looked at me and said to tell daddy, not her.

groaned inwardly and then resigned to fate and waited for dad to come home.

but when he came home, my mum got to him first and complained about me spoiling my phone in less than a year. i guess my father was in a good mood cos he just asked how i spoiled it and not skipping to scolding me, like how he would usually.

i told him that my bottle leaked. i havent finished my sentence when he went

"HOR!"

startled, i looked at him with this big question mark.

shaking his head, he told me, "water get into your phone? cannot fix one. spoil that means spoil already. cannot use anymore."

man, did i scream.

and then i wrote those big black words on the previous post.

):

i closed my door (being careful not to slam it) and cooped myself up.

so yeah. my sister came in to check on me a few times and you can hear her reporting to my parents. my dad offered his handphone. i rejected mercifully.

my mom ah. still shout "who ask you. always so careless with your stuff."

and i shouted right back, holding back tears. "like i expected that stupid bottle to leak. it has never leaked before la!"

HA. so she kept quiet.

sigh.

and even if they dont buy me another phone, then i shall not use a handphone until the time come for me to change a contract, which is usually the time to buy a new phone. and in my case, when im sec four. im serious. no pun, no joke. 100% for real.

and im sure i can do that. i know i can. it's the least i can do for my pink phone. i caused her death. and no other can replace her. okay, so another pink phone can replace her. but it has to be a flip phone, motorola and PINK. so it'll look like her and she'll know she's respected.

oh man. no hsm song can cheer me up now. i can only bring myself to sing "when there was me and you" over and over again.

sorry i didnt complete my previous post. you can go to maxine's blog. she has the details AND the pictures. mine just has emo-ness.

dont worry. i'll get over it.

so in the meantime, let's talk about something different.

ohoh!

Ann doesn't like bees very well.

HA.

it's coded. and i bet you cant decipher it. only me and one other person knows. soon, there'll be a third person.

:D

i like secrets. hee.

hum.

the following is totally random and im just letting off a little of the bottled feelings so i can bottle up more feelings. advised that you dont read it lest you die of boredom or cluelessness.

***

sometimes, i wish that i was a character in a book. a book all about me. my life story. and there's this reader, who would empathize with me, who would know all the "backstage-secrets", who can read past my mask, who knows what my true feelings are.

i've thought about it and wondered how i can have such a reader. write the book myself and let others read it?

but then it occurred to me that i do have a faithful reader of my lifestory; God.

(im no christian, but being in a christian environment helps.)

dont they always say how you can run but you cant hide from God? and how you can lie yourself and people around you, but you cannot deceive God?

that's a good reader. and there's comfort in that knowledge.

but then, if God is the reader, who's the author?

it cant be me. i dont decide what goes on in my life. and then i realise again--

God.

we do what God wants us to do. he writes and we act it out.

isnt He great?

an author, to plan everything going on in my life.

a reader, to find out how i feel about what's going on in my life.

(:

so you know, it doesn't take much to know how great our Lord is.

Amen to that.